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 The Journal of Teniel Djo (Year 8 - Year 9)

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Rennek Cor
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PostSubject: The Journal of Teniel Djo (Year 8 - Year 9)   Sun Jan 20, 2013 1:20 am

The Diary of Teniel Djo


Below is a consolidated version of the public journal of former Eidolan Pirate Queen Teniel Djo, between year 8 and year 9. The transcript details personal interactions, fights, friends and above all, details of thefts by the Queen and her subordinates. This is taken from Djo's on hand, written here:
http://www.swcombine.com/forum/thread.php?thread=8994&page=1


Year 8 Day 3

Dear diary,

I concede defeat, I was not active enough to carry out the operation successfully - perhaps I should have turned it over to another pirate after all. (OOC: I unexpectedly lost internet access for several days, luckily BEFORE I boarded the stranger's ship, but yeah...plot fails...it happens sometimes)

In other news, I have heard the Nar Shaddaa operation is going *very* well, and expect official news to be on the GNS within a day or two...

Year 8 Day 20

Dear diary,

Not much to tell you you, am stuck in the middle of a ten-day hyperjourney to pick up raw materials for a construction project - I feel so provincial, flying at hyper=2 - quite a change in pace for me.

Have recently begun hiring increasing amounts of outsiders who are helping Eidola improve their efficiency and access to their assets - no longer do we have to send one of our own pirates on a 30-day trip to bring a Marauder Corvette closer to our operating bases, now somebody else will do it for us Smile

Alvin Cool is apparently proving his dickish tendencies, at first I thought he had just refused to start construction on our space station because "we're pirates", so it was a legitimate form of protest...but no, it turns out he's just incompetent. How such people come into positions of power, I'll never understand.

Year 8 Day 20

Dear diary,

oh...he beat me to it.

In fairness, Tel was a good egg about the business, and I'll probably be more generous towards dealings with him in the future because of it. He wasn't a moron, and he wasn't ignorant, he acknowledged several times how much he didn't want to have to send first to me - but Greenberg and I were plotting in a private channel exactly how to manipulate him into a position that put him between a rock and a hard place...in his own words "dammit, i hate being put into this position".

What tipped the balance was that he faced wasting an hour of negotiating because of what he believed was a "factor beyond Teniel's honest control", or risking sending first to me...and unfortunately, that moment of bad judgment cost him. Now, you can point out I "wasted" an hour robbing him, but I feel obligated to point out that spending an hour saying "For sale: Ships and vehicles, please buy my stuff" usually results in *zero* profit, whereas I just made 15mil in the past hour...so clearly it was time well-invested for me.

Anyways, once I have removed my new materials out of the warehouse, I will be returning the facility to Tel, and leaving him behind a nice rifle or two as thanks.

Year 8 Day 41

Dear diary,

awoke today to discover that the Rebel Alliance has finally crumbled. One may think that with both the RA and the GE in such sad states of disrepair, this galaxy is looking at a very boring future...but nothing could be further from the truth.

While traditionally Eidola piracy and anarchy have subverted and covered for the ineptitude of the Galactic Empire's attempts to start a "War on Terror", "War on Crime" and "War on Piracy" (How *did* those turn out anyhow? What about that new trade initiative which would "revolutionize trading" by making everything require Imperial approval? Still going strong on those alliances? Did you ever kill anyone from the Trade Federation?)....we now see that Sorosuub will be reaping the rewards of the Rebel Alliance's failings. The Rebel Alliance has agreed to "share power" in ruling the galaxy with Adam A Flynn's group built out of cobbling together alliances with smugglers and pirates combined with the resources of Black Sun...and I'm glad.

The galaxy needs strong leadership, and Phymp and his predecessors have proven time and again, that the RA lacks strong leadership. Flynn is a self-made man, he was never granted any favours by the gods, he started out just a simple trader like you or I, and he built up his wealth, his contacts and his influence, until he is now poised to become the galaxy's largest power-broker. *This* is a man I would trust to stand behind the largest government in the galaxy, rather than "somebody who kissed a lot of ass when the chips were down".

Of course, since we are pirates (and attention-whores!), the Eidola Sub-Committee on Public Relations felt it was prudent to announce a merger within our own ranks...one that will likely overtake this silly "Sorosuub/RA merger" as the chief discussion around the watercoolers in your workplace.

Year 8 Day 48

Dear diary,

Jack T Ladd is a dick.

I have finished cleaning the Gr?inne Ni Mh?ille, several hundred items now stored neatly in my weapons locker, my clothing locker, my gear lockers, my comms equipment locker...stuff that lets me fly, stuff that lets me walk around volancoes, stuff that helps me break into places, stuff that helps me deal with unruly slaves, stuff that helps me kill people...I forsee whole new crime sprees!

Random skill to confess: Naval Tactics-0
Current location: En route to 0,0, arrive in 1 day, 9 hours

The latest advertising campaign by the Raptor Pirates has me nervous though, since they speak as though they are currently hacking into something Eidola...I should really investigate just what he means by that. Also, I simply must get my hands on some of these amazing ships that the Raptor Pirates have to offer, since the last Ship List I received from their faction revealed nothing faster than a 7 hyperdrive, and it's well-known that Eidola has nearly a dozen ships with 9+ hyper, all the way up to the GnM's 14...but they apparently have much faster ships...I should look into stealing some...the trouble now comes down to the choice of whether...

I know, I'll ask my readers to vote, and see what their opinions are! (but nobody tell the Raptor Pirates, I wouldn't want my very-public journal falling into their intel files!)

Votes in favour of robbing the Raptor Pirates within 8 weeks:
*Gordon Gekko
*Sylis Farani
*Wes Reed
*Kalima Redstar
*Tidus Tia

Votes in favour of killing a Raptor Pirate within 8 weeks:
*Hal Breden
*Xavze Zavan
*Darek Xearz

Votes in favour of sitting down over chamomile tea:
*Bren
*Chin Chon

Year 8 Day 62

Dear diary,

A young Rebel Alliance officer named Oilios Katastrefor has been complaining it seems, that I don't write in my journal about thefts anymore...so I decided that has to change. Oilios has been robbed by Eidola twice in the past week Smile

The first time saw Oilios desperately contact Eidola saying he absolutely *needed* to have some flats he believed Eidola owned - because Eidola would "waste" them and the Rebel Alliance would more fully profit from owning them - so if we wanted to see the Rebel Alliance deal the Empire a blow, we should give him the facilities. v. odd logic..."The Rebel Alliance is more powerful than Eidola...will Eidola please help us accomplish something?" - seems odd. Anyways, he was directed to Piratey Pirate Derek Shado, who successfully convinced the stupid Rebel to send him millions of credits in the hopes of receiving Imperial cities..."ouch, the stupidity, it burns".

Not to be outdone by a simple Shado-meister however, I was intent to even the score, and prove that I too could scam Oilios. Of course, a normal person might be a little cautious, having already been scammed by Eidola for millions this week, but not Oilios, oh no, he anxiously took the bait and sent me *another* 4.5million. I cannot wait to see the success of the New Republic under this new policy of "allow Oilios to touch credits" - may I take this opportunity to advise the New Republic high command to trust this fine young officer with some more assets? I am certain that he is intelligent enough to be trusted, what happened this week was just an unfortunate accident...and then another one a couple days later...

-----

Now onto other news, I now have all three Raptor Pirates aboard the Gr?inne Ni Mh?ille. The two Bothans have each reacted differently to the capture, and thus likely face different fates. I politely hailed each of them asking them to speak with me about their futures...here are their responses.

Brett Tropper
Rookie (20+)
Posts: 21
(1/31/07 10:01 pm)
YOU THINK BEING ARRSTED IS BAD BEING ARRSTED BY MISS STUPID FACE AND IDIOTIC PARROT IS LIKE GOING THROUGH HELL!!!!!!!

Twenty Vigar
First message: "so what faction do you belong too??? and what rank do you hold??? what happens now that we are arrested??"
Next message: "i got arrested.....with nothing but driod.......and i gain armor and a gun...nice...will we bacome slave labour now??? sorry just tell me if im being rude an obtrusive."
Next message: "so we just sitting here waiting for a ransom or are you taking us somewhere??? who is that other arrested person in the hanger?? PS i found out how to use the trunks thank you"

Now neither of them strike me as overly intelligent, but I'm forced to admit that this Twenty Vigar chap seems to be capable of learning - and in time may one day become a valuable member of the galaxy, if we can just teach him to use some half-decent grammar.

The reaction on the Raptor Pirates messageboard was varied, some people chided the Pirates for stupidly walking into a trap, while one Raptor suggested "Deny everything, admit nothing, make up wild counter-claims that we killed Eidola instead" - ah, the fun innocence of stupidity.

So as of today, Twenty Vigar is alive and aboard the GnM equipping himself freely of armour, items and weapons to take with him assuming he survives - though he will likely face indentured service to the pirate crew that captured him, before he is fully freed of all obligation - but he will likely walk away from this having gained experience, knowledge and understanding of how the galaxy works.

Brett Topper is less likely to walk away at all, since I've just had a scalpel delivered to me by those fine blokes at Primus Medical (quality medical items at a reasonable price, Primus for all your medical needs!), and am anxious to test its surgical qualities.

Kant Teers, the most veteran of the group, will have his fate rest solely on whether or not PaulDaJedi agrees to pay the demanded ransom of 5million credits for his release.

-----

And in *final* news, one of the lesser-known Eidola Pirates managed to steal himself a Bayonet cruiser, further increasing pirate firepower...we hope to have twenty-four Bayonet cruisers by the end of this coming summer, without paying for a single one. Oddly, this theft was directly from the Minister of Commerceof the New Anzat Order - which seems to be a frequent occupation for people who get robbed by Eidola...why do governments always appoint fools to safeguard their treasury?

Year 8 Day 66

Dear diary,

did you know that the Bothans use the same word for "trouble" as "opportunity"? It's true, I saw it on an inspirational poster! Anyhow, this nugget of wisdom really summarises my day so far. I met a bounty hunter in the BHA, his name was Pierce Baker...seemed like a dangerous situation for a pirate like me. However, he approached me and asked if Eidola could sell him some A-Wings. Generous soul that I am, I gladly agreed to part with our RA-specific tech to someone we'd never heard of, and for only 500k apiece! He immediately accepted the price and announced he wanted three immediately. Well, needless to say things didn't work out so well for the bounty hunter, he sent me 1,500,000...only to discover I had no intentions of sending him the A-Wings! Luckily for him however, I was in a charitable mood and refunded half his money to him, warning him to be more careful when dealing with pirates in the future.

Of course, my tiny little scam is nothing compared to what I hear Eli Greenberg robbed just twenty minutes after I stole the cash. I'll give you a hint, it rhymes with "'ey, a net!" and it is fast becoming an Eidola-specific warship Smile

Year 8 Day 67

Dear diary,

current operation is risky. Hope I do not fail...I foresee the risks, but have decided they are worth taking, given the potential "happy ending" I could bring about.

In closing up other stories, just a couple hours before I reach Imzig and execute the two remaining Raptor Pirates. *sigh* Why must PDJ refuse to pay even 1mil in ransom for his own men? Such a craptastic faction leader Sad

Year 8 Day 69

Dear diary,

I thought I heard something about all Imperial officers being forbidden to trade with me...must have been mistaken. SFS Barion Surkov of the Galactic Empire's naval fleet sent me 6,850,000 that he had been given out of a faction budget, thinking that he would receive an Action VI Transport for his efforts. Amusingly, he indicated that he knew full-well he was forbidden to trade with me, and tried to hide the fact he was an Imperial...as though the "SFSGT" in front of his name didn't give it away.

[19:09] Teniel> Which faction?
[19:11] SFSGT_Surkov> sorry i can`t tell you that.
[19:11] Teniel> Fair enough, can you just confirm you're in a faction that isn't forbidden from trading with me?
[19:12] SFSGT_Surkov> Is it so important? Those who need this ship don`t really care for this things

Now Surkov is well-versed in the Imperial Navy and has served there for quite a long time, reaching the E-6 rank, so is definitely smart enough to know better than to take a faction's credits and send them to Eidola...I would have hoped.

Now, I had gone to great lengths to bribe certain traders to say certain things in the trading channel, arranged a dirty middleman for this deal, was setting up everything in the desperate hopes it would go perfectly...when he surprised me by simply announcing he had sent the money. I didn't even need to plot, I basically just had to ask nicely!

Of course, then I had to have a little fun, pointing to the fact he wasn't allowed to trade with me in the first place...

[19:22] Teniel> Hrm, I googled "Barion Surkov"
[19:23] Teniel> Barion Surkov - Galactic Empire (248111375)[ICQ]
[19:25] SFSGT_Surkov> come on let`s do business or let`s forget about it
[19:25] Teniel> Alright, let's forget it Smile
[19:26] SFSGT_Surkov> when you send my money back?
[19:26] Teniel> What money? I forget
[19:27] SFSGT_Surkov> very funny.
[19:28] Teniel> An Imperial just sent Eidola 7mil credits...*very* funny

Now, some additoinal information for my loving fans. Barion Surkov draws a montly salary of 45,000 credits - and has only 700k in his personal money. But he was given access to 10,000,000 credits out of the faction budget, and I only stole 6,850,000...which means that there is an idiot out there holding onto 3,150,000 credits still waiting to be stolen from him. Let's consider it a race! Smile

Year 8 Day 73

Dear diary,

this story I'm about to unfold, took place in the system of Sevarcos, just about the time of the Eidola conflict with the RA/NR and the GImpies. I onlymention it 'cause sometimes there's a man--I won't say a hee-ro, 'cause what's a hee-ro?--but sometimes there's a man. And I'm talkin' about Oilios Katastrefor here-- but sometimes there's a man who, well, he's the man for Eidola's time'n place, he fits right in there where they want him -- and that's Oilios, in Sevarcos.

See, Oilios got it into his head that he should try to launch a rescue mission to save the Raptor Pirates that Eidola had captured, expecting it would make us look damned foolish to have the New Republic undo everything we'd accomplished.

Oilios even began trolling in my journal, "demanding" I release the prisoners, so that his eventual "rescue" would seem even more awe-inspiring and bravado-filled...but alas...that backfires, because today my friends, we learn that Twenty Vigar's pleading for his life, and pleading with Grant to come rescue him...was naught but a plot.

Twenty Vigar has learned a lot since he was captured alongside the other Raptor Pirates, and in only six days, you'll see my journal has come from announcing attempting something "risky" to announcing that Twenty Vigar, with the help of Eidola, has just captured Oilios Katastrefor's rescue ship.

In recognition of how far he has come, Twenty has been released (unlike his two dead comrades), given a ship and many items, and will be helped forward in the galaxy. No thanks to Oilios' stupid attempts to embarrass Eidola, which really only resulted in the capture of a New Republic ship by Eidola...coming just after scamming Oilios in the sale of a mine...coming just after robbing Oilios of millions.

Just not your month, is it Oilios? Ah well, be happy because Twenty Vigar is indeed free and much smarter than you ever gave him credit for - he played you for a fool, and suckered you into a wild goose chase rescue mission that ends up with your rescue ship being stolen.

Year 8 Day 76

Dear diary,

you may remember some months ago I convinced our dear Sean Tel to send me 18 million worth of raw materials to build up my vacation planet...*then* convinced him to send me the warehouse they were stored in...but I'm getting all boasty and egotistical again, and that's not the point of this post.

Anyhow, I promised at the time that I would return the warehouse to the robbed man, after I had emptied the materials - and today that finally happened. Just wanted to keep you updated, dear journal, that while I am a pirate...I do keep my word to people.

In addition, I acquired four "free" Cloakshapes today, that I'm going to give away to the first four people to post in here whose names I don't recognise, who consider themselves "worthy poor people" deserving of a free ship. The only catch is thus, (spake Zarathustra), they must use the terms "charlatan", "denouement" and "maelstrom" in a proper context. Smile

The four ships are located at (0, 0), (150, 130), (42, 450) and (53, 464). So mention in your post which one of those four locations is closest/easiest/best for you - and assuming you are a deserving person "new to this galaxy", then I'll send it along Smile

Year 8 Day 99

Dear diary,

I am growing weary of the life of crime, every day, same thing, over and over. I advertise amazing ships for sale at great prices, some trader decides to suspend their common sense and buy them.

Today I sold a Gallofree for 9mil, and a modded YT-2000 for 8.5mil. Well, perhaps "sold" would be the wrong term to use..."pretended to sell".

Now, this leaves me with a bunch of money to spend, and dammit, I don't know what to buy...I am like a kid in a candy store, how *many* grenades can I buy with 17.5mil?

In other news, have just left Tatooine - wandered around the surface of the planet in Mos Eisley while it was rapidly changing hands between the Rebel Alliance, New Imperial Order and goodness knows who else was involved by the end...but none of them noticed the little pirate walking through the civic centre, the local merchant's shop (I got more knives!) and then...to one of my favourite hang-outs in the galaxy...


Chalmun's cantina, in the heart of Mos Eisley! And as luck would have it, the Modal Nodes were playing! Now this is embarrassing to admit diary, but in my youth I was something of a Modal Nodes groupie...they all knew me back then, "Ten-ten" they called me, I think Doikk Nats came up with that name for me, him and Figran were always the coolest.

Year 8 Day 122

Dear diary,

Squall Chitose, that sexy pirate, has done it again. He used his rippling muscles, shining charisma and impeccable assonance to lure a beautiful Kaminoan into his bedchambers. In this instance, Trade Federation slave Joni Yuma was seduced into believing the rugged warlord's lying heart and quickly hopped aboard his Marauder Corvette, the Queen Kalina's Revenge only to discover that the "furry handcuffs" he had promised her, were not so furry after all.

Luckily for Yuma, her loving husband Kieran agreed to the pirate lord's terms for a ransom, and his wife was safely returned unharmed...except for some raw skin around her wrists and a few unexplained hickeys on her long, slender neck.

Most oddly about the whole encounter, Joni has since messaged me to enquire about whether it might be possible to have Squall kidnap her again. o.O I suspect infidelity may be afoot...will suggest to Shado the possibility of setting up Kieran and Asaryakatr on a blind date to try and ease the tensions.

Year 8 Day 159

Dear diary,

Am feeling jealous. I have spent the past week building offices, taverns and hotels. Lots of drywall, lots of carpeting, lots of structurally supporting I-beams. Greenberg has been stealing all my glory, just this afternoon he sent me a CommMessage to confirm he had just stolen two Action VIs, worth about 19 million, from Blastech, the Imperial Weapons Corporation. While it brings back fond memories of Durand, and the *last* Imperial weapons manufacturer, III, who got thoroughly raided no less than three times by Eidola, and finally dissolved by our pirates...it is tinged with sadness that I am stuck here with a bunch of stupid Gamorrean labourers installing toilet mains in another hotel suite. Sad

In other news, received notice that The 11 Colonies had begun arresting all foreigners in their systems, so quickly organised an Emergency Rendez-vous, co-ordinating the escape of all 21 Eidola pirate labourers within their space.

Have hired several new crew members for the Grainne ni Mhaille, over the past few weeks as well - each of them the ultimate practitioner of their arts.



Am still in talks with two very admirable grenadiers, both of them are excellent, and I am having trouble deciding which of them is "best" - Jerrol Quizan or Damian Emala...whoever is cut from the crew, will wind up in my free give-away of indentured employees to less-fortunate beings of the galaxy

Am vexed with trying to organise and design the upcoming Sevarii events, the prizes are too expensive, everybody is like "Teniel, you should make it so everybody walks away a winner!", and nobody wants to actually have to "come up" with a plan for how we'll get all the money to afford those prizes...but nevertheless you can be damned sure you'll be hearing about them in the upcoming weeks...

Year 8 Day 160

Dear diary,

Braka Ra is captured. A short-lived thief whose career take was 150k and a Y-Wing Longprobe, he foolishly began deriding Eidola in his first week, insisting that the pirates would be unable to stop a rival thief. Oops!

Must admit, was worried we might not get a chance to kill *this* thief who refused to pay tribute to Eidola, since he was walking around ON THE SURFACE OF A PLANET OWNED BY THE BOUNTY HUNTERS ALLIANCE, so thought *maybe* the bounty hunters of the galaxy would finally net themselves a capture. But no...they are still as incompetent as everybody else.

Although the media is harrassing me, demanding to know which pirate was dispatched to find Braka, I am stonewalling them. There is simply no way I could afford the shame of admitting that once again, this was the work of Eli Greenberg that damned Eidola member who keeps upstaging me!

Year 8 Day 167

Dear diary,

Do not understand people sometimes. A *reader of my journal* has modded ship with +4 hyper illegally-parked at an Eidola base - in this case, the system of Roon. Rather than pay the required fees, or move the ship, he decides to message me personally to inform me of the ship's location and ask if I will have Eidola move it for him. The nerve!

Politely inform him that Eidola will be happy act as chauffeurs if he will leave us keys to ignition. He blithely tosses us the keys to the ship. Ship was immediately impounded by Quartermaster Derek Shado.



In other news, Braka Ra decided to try and join a gambling tournament I was holding, insisting that he could pay the bets despite having no money...and being under arrest aboard an Eidola ship. Repeatedly asked him to leave the betting table and return quietly to his cage, but he refused and got increasingly irate, swearing and cursing that we "couldn't make him". A blaster-bolt between the eyes proved that theory wrong. Braka Ra is now most definitely dead.

Year 8 Day 184

Dear diary,

The "Active Crewmembers of the Gráinne Ni Mháille" idea is working perfectly, the most senior crewman, and I suppose "First Mate" of the pirateship, is a cunning and ruthless Hutt warlord codenamed Pitsa.

Pitsa took the Gráinne Ni Mháille to Nal Hutta last week, where he set up a sting operation to entrap passing pilots (while I stayed behind in the ship, cleaning...damn it all...too many weapons) - and sure enough, he captured an armed pilot and their freighter almost instantly. Disarming the prisoner, he issued ransom demands to the employer for the captive's release - and payment was quickly arranged - and the pilot then freed to return to the spacelanes. In 24 hours, Pitsa had gained newfound wealth to spend on his criminal empire.

Current plans: Picking up gravsleds and backpacks on Denevar, then to Lorell where I am meeting another crewman for the Gráinne Ni Mháille. Also, am checking on contents of Bayonet cruiser that Greenberg stole from Imperial Police, since they have made ridiculously high offers to have it returned...suspect possibly VIPs, Imperial tech items or rare weapons might be aboard.


Year 8 Day 187

Dear diary,

I have said before, for every Eidola plot that meets with success, there is another plot that is abandoned, aborted or fails. This week is proof of that.

Asarya'katr Tylger Cellewan Branwen Von Ismay Wesker Chitose, commonly known as "Asarya", was found walking throughout factories in the Core worlds, and upon entering one such factory and being faced with the Twi'lek warrior, took it upon myself to forcibly kick her out of the factory and onto the streets of the city. The battle was shortlived, for while a lightsaber is excellent at cutting through anything with which it comes in contact...it is a useless weapon if the bearer fails to bring it in contact with their opponent.

In the end, I had forced the Dark Jedi aboard the Gráinne Ni Mháille whereupon my Hutt crewman took up the battle while I ran to the cockpit and lifted off. The blue prisoner however, soon accepted that she was helpless, and began tidying the weapons strewn across the ship. (In a Benjamin-esque instance however, she was found hiding my precious rocket launcher in her backpack...)

We reached orbit without incident, and began our travel to Lorell with the new prisoner - but unfortunately, a former Eidola member was at Lorell carrying out training exercises as part of Emperor Vodo's swearing of allegiance to Galactic King, Jessy James. Adam Diggins had learned a great deal during his time in Eidola, and as a personal friend of Asarya, swore to not rest until he'd found the Gráinne Ni Mháille and rescued the fair damsel in distress. In the end, he did.

Of course, the fact an Imperial rescued a prisoner that the Empire has a warrant against, and for whom the Emperor has personally called for their death, is a bit ironic on its own - but I don't imagine the Empire has the time or resources to actually pursue Diggins for this "crime" of helping criminals wanted by the Galactic Empire to escape imprisonment, so we shall pass that by.

I was most upset, because I had hoped to demand a Bayonet in ransom for the safe return of the lovely blue murderess...luckily Eli Greenberg noticed my wavering voice during our nightly holoconversation, and promised to steal Eidola another Bayonet to make up for it.

Recruiting the help of the galaxy's most infamous Cathar, Greenberg purposely looked through my journal for people who had been annoying and insulted Eidola in the past, claiming we were a bunch of "wannabes" who "could never steal from anybody with half a brain"...Phaurun Highblast, what a target! By morning, they had taken his Bayonet, and he was forced to approach Eidola to ask if we would "please return it".

I would like to be fair. Readers of the journal can vote on whether or not we should return the Bayonet Warcruiser that Eli stole from Phauran, after he trolled my journal, called me all kinds of dirty names, and insisted that "somebody with half a brain" would never be robbed by Eidola.

Year 8 Day 192

Dear diary,

let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, two Hapan undergraduates at Lorell University decided to release four greased gamorreans in the corridors of their school. The school administration not only had to spend two hours hunting down Gamoreans with the numbers "1", "2", "3" and "5" on their back - but they spent the rest of the night searching for where "4" had gone...unaware that the numbering scheme was just a ploy by the students to cause further headache.

The moral of the story is thus, where people see a reference suggesting that there are five of something, their minds don't bother examining the possiblity that perhaps it is part of a ploy.

http://www.swcombine.com/forum/thread.php?thread=19789&page=0

"Auction 3 of 5" is ended, though not with as much happiness as Auctions #1 and #2 had ended, since they were building up my reputation and the lie that I was going to hold 5 auctions - all requiring winning bidders to send first.

Total haul at the end is just over 37,000,000 credits - which more than covers the 1.5mil "loss" I incurred with my previous two auctions, to build up my reputation, the five holonet forum posts I made, and the hour I spent drawing up the lists and dealing with bidder questions over the past two weeks.

Year 8 Day 207

Dear diary,

during my hunt for the best crewmen for the Gráinne Ni Mháille, a friend pointed out that Gamorreans are the *best* slavecatchers, their unique skills allow them to be far more effective than any other species at it...so I looked on Gamorr for a slavemarket where I might hire myself some slavercatchers. Alas, there was no such market - and the planet was controlled by The Freeholders, a group that is not only incompetent, but has recently printed libel against Eidola on the GNS.

Contacting Echuu, the leader of the Freeholders, I wasn't terribly surprised to find he had some kind of a grudge against Eidola and refused to build us a slavemarket despite the fact we were offering to pay for all the materials, workers and costs involved...so we decided to offer him five times the price of a slavemarket...if he would just allow us to build one ourselves...still he refused to budge, laughing because in his own words "there is nowhere on the planet you could build, The Freeholders own all the cities and the cities are full with no room for new facilities"

Finally we offered him a nice 7-digit sum if he would just promise not to arrest us as we scouted out the planet...again he refused, pushed forward by his completely psychotic and schizoid wife, Gretchen O'Hara who made constant death threats. While the arguing and namecalling was going on however, an Eidola bulk freighter was landing with a building crew on his planet, building up Eidola facilities in a city controlled by locals, which he didn't bother scouting...too busy namecalling I suppose...or trying to keep his wife on a leash.

Long story short, Eidola now owns the only slave market on Gammor, so if you want Gamorrean slavers, let us know!

In other news, am very happy with the bandolier that Agaeki Eegas made for me, I am likely going to get him to equip all of Eidola with this awesome handicraft. It holds a lot of ammunition, grenades, everything I could ever need - is now right there hanging off my weapons belt.



Finally, the first batch of Eidola Protection Shirts has been delivered to Sullust - our next stop is Firro - they are selling fast, quite a great product!

Year 8 Day 234

Dear diary,

It has been a long time since I last wrote to you, I apologise. Life has been busy, and *too much* has been happening to tell you about. I don't even know where to begin, I suppose the theft of another Bayonet this morning is always a good way to start a journal post, let's start with that. Tios was robbed last week...then again this morning. It was cute, he somehow magically overcame his poverty and became a powerful warlord in his own mind, somehow managing to get his hands on a Y-Head corvette and a Bayonet Cruiser...of course now he has neither.

To his credit, he put up a fight over sending me the Bayonet warship, for a while there I thought I wasn't going to convince him to send it to me. It is a known fact that it is much more difficult to steal ships, than credits - people instinctively feel that the person with the credits is obligated to pay first, before getting their merchandise...so to convince them "Give me X, then I'll give you money once it's mine" takes a fair bit more effort...but is so much more rewarding!

In sad news, Eidola suffered its first death of a veteran recently - when an unfortunate series of events saw Frank Naasens killed. A statue and park are being constructed is his honour on Sevarcos, with Wayist leader Kayleb leading the prayer ceremonies for our beloved lost pirate.

In happier news, some of you may have noticed that the finest minds in the galaxy have come together to join the legitimate, honest, but scummy business of...slavetrading! That's right, the galaxy has its very first corporation devoted to slaves - with more than a dozen slave markets, access to all the rarest species and skillsets, everything from bartenders to riflemen to surgeons, all captured by our slavecapturing teams on their homeplanet, and sold at the best of prices! Yes it truly is a great day for the criminal underworld and those who control it, as another "dirty" job opportunity is opened to the galaxy's finest.

That reminds me, I need to go order more handcuffs and whips for this group...for some reason Vega never returned the ones he borrowed...

Year 8 Day 309

Dear diary,

When, in the course of galactic events, it becomes obvious to Eidola that somebody really deserves to be robbed - we are always happy to oblige.

Imagine this scenario;

-You are Polarisruner, a five-year veteran currently serving with the New Imperial Order

-You have just come into possessionof not one, but TWO Bayonet warships for which you did not work, did not earn, did not deserve.

-You are contacted by Teniel Djo, who offers you a "too good to be true" offer on both Bayonets. You announce that Corellian Engineering *needs* to sell them, and is counting on the money to help them afford to build any ships at their new shipyards.

-Knowing her reputation as a thief, of course you insist on using a middleman. Luckily, she obliges...would Eli Greenberg be alright?

-Googling around, you discover Eli Greenberg is a thief, listed on many sites and lists...he appears to be prominent. You confront Teniel with this information, aha, the scam is up! Your Bayonets are safe!

-Wait...Teniel sounds surprised that you hadn't heard of Greenberg before, everybody knows he only ever steals from Vodo himself - she assures you that he is practically a folk legend - a popular middleman who only ever screws Vodo.

-Once more lulled into a sense of security, you decide that you should increase your asking price, throwing a CR-90a into the equation. Teniel agrees that is fair...almost as though she doesn't care...because she has no intentions of sending you anything.

-You happily send over both Bayonets.

Year 8 Day 319

Dear diary,

Since I have recently come into quite a bit of ill-gotten money, I decided to hire a tailor to outfit the crew of the Gráinne Ni Mháillein proper attire. After searching all over the galaxy, it was decided that Kuro Neko was the best tailor money could buy, and he was commissioned to do a number of outfits. The Gráinne Ni Mháille's docking bay is now a lot classier, since our mechanic Sammer Corely got his new clothing, as seen below;


Similarly, the medical bay on the ship has improved since our surgeon and nurse are now both easily identifiable, by injured parties aboard the ship, and given the respect they deserve in fancy new scrubs.



And finally, my bodyguards - each boasting the most impressive stats possible for riflemen anywhere in the galaxy, are finally deserving of the name "pirate".



Year 8 Day 239

Dear diary,

received a postcard from Greenberg today...



That son of a bitch didn't even mention if he's bringing me back a souvenir from the Falleen Federation! But yes, once again it seems the only real threat to thieves and criminals in the galaxy...is from the Eidola Pirates who demand compliance in their criminal underworld, or will hunt you down as the pathetic competition that you aim to be. I can't wait to see if he manages to arrest anybody else off the official "Thief list".

Year 8 Day 339

Dear diary,

the New Anzat Order recently announced that it was going to become wildly incompetent and completely fail to maintain their own borders. This popular announcement was greeted by a number of rival governments sending construction crews into NAO-controlled systems and stealing away their planets without even token opposition from the NAO who are now ranked 83rd, just below TransGalMeg, in their "galactic relevance".

Of course, despite losing almost all their territory - the NAO at least had the benefit that nobody was able to build on the planet Anzat itself, until now that is.

Of course, as the death of Isoldor proved, there is no task in the world that can't be solved with enough bribery, veiled threats and promises of future glory...so Eidola decided to "seize ownership" of a city slab on the planet of Anzat and set to work building.

The obvious discussion was deciding *what* we should build. Brigadier-General T'losk gave a short spiel advocating the construction of 400 "Wilhelm With Undersized Manhood" statues in the city, which proved unfeasible due to a lack of any artistic talent among pirates. Another idea was simply to build taverns and hotels, to profit off the planet's excellently-balanced statistics...but that gave way to a much more evil plan of invasion...



Supreme Pirate Marshal Imperium was given the task of covertly inserting the construction crews on the planet, while distracting the NAO guards with increasingly explicit messages about the nighttime actions of their female relatives. As Orphaea Imperium announced to the press, "today marks a new era in Anzat politics...one in which NAO high command will be able to purchase their beloved friends and relatives off local slave markets for reasonable prices".

Diary, I am so happy that Phase I of Operation Thundering Cameltoe is complete, with Mytaranor Slaving taking over the day-to-day operations of capturing NAO citizens on their own homeplanet, and selling them as slaves through the markets constructed by Eidola.

Now I must be going, dearest diary, my Comms panel is flashing and I believe it's the update from Supreme Donkey of the Trouser-Pod Eli Greenberg, about Stage II of his "Mission: Ironic Deaths" campaign.

Year 8 Day 344

Dear diary,

Eli Greenberg sent me a flowery note today mentioning that he has captured Cyrus Rin, another thief trying to operate without approval of Eidola, tch, tch.

Oddly, once again he was being sheltered on a Falleen Federation planet believing that he was safe from any potential attackers. Has the FF really stooped to this level to try and prevent themselves from going the way of the NAO? The old FF would have never associated itself with unsavoury characters or gentlemen of ill repute - but now they freely harbour and protect thieves?! Well, perhaps "protect" is the wrong word since he's now rotting in an Eidola dungeon...

I asked Greeniepoo what his future plans were, but he coyly refused to tell me, other than to clarify that it involved large amounts of money that didn't belong to him. Am apprehensive, what if bad things happen to those I lovelike? Must warn him to be careful and bring extra Noghri on this mission...



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The Journal of Teniel Djo (Year 8 - Year 9)
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